• Being Dara

So You Want to be a Wife?




What a blessing it is to have a husband....Someone to go through life with, have children with and have access to a never ending supply of oversized shirts. 

God is so good !! 

But being a wife isn't just about shirt stealing, baby making and guaranteed company for the cinema. And it's certainly not about the Bella Naija worthy wedding !! 

Marriage is hard work. Even a predestined God ordained marriage doesn't escape hiccups. It requires prayers, sacrifice and 100% dedication DAILY, not this 50/50 stuff people keep saying. 

Many of times I see girls and women searching high and low for 'bae' when for one ; it's not your job to find bae and two displaying all types of mannerisms that would make a real man of God who is ready for marriage not even consider you ! 

Now I'm not an expert having only been married for just over a year GLORY BE TO THE MOST HIGH GOD, and I'm by no means perfect and learning everyday. But what I have learned thus far I want to share with you all.





Check out my 3 tips below:

1.) Hold your mouth and watch your attitude.

- There will be times when you have disagreements BUT that is not a green light to speak to your husband in a disrespectful manner, or continuously nag about things. As much as possible try to be the peace that hubby comes home to after a long day.


Better to dwell in a corner of a housetop, Than in a house shared with a contentious woman

- Proverbs 21:9


2.) Let your husband wear the trousers, he is the man.

- We live in a time where society is strongly encouraging women to overpower their male counterparts. Slowly removing men from their original position. Whilst I am against any type of oppression of women at the hands of men, or an abuse of physical power. The man was created to be the head, and the woman to support him in doing so. There is GREAT power and freedom in submission. When you understand what it truly means. It is not some scary word equivalent to 'total control, speak when your spoken to, slave labouring, prison sentence' which understandably could make one want to rebel.  ( I could write an entire post on this one aspect. But will leave it there.) I can only advice and assure you that peace will reign in your home when you allow the man to be and feel like 'THE MAN'. If he is following Christ, trust his vision and direction for the family, big him up, massage his back with his ego small small lol.


'Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body.'

- Ephesians 5:22-23


3.) FIGHT for your husband.....in prayer.

I used to have this immature way of looking at 'beef' if it was to ever come my husbands way..like 'nahhh I would never have it, i'll throw the first punch' * cringe*, and he would look at me like 'seriously' and shake his head. I would think to myself why don't he rate the fact that I would physically defend him? Like I'm ready to ride or die b !. But the fact of the matter is, he wasn't looking for a bodyguard or wrestler. So let me just calm down and keep it cute but be vicious in prayer instead, because I can guard his body that way and wrestle in the spirit. That is the proper way to fight...on my knees and ahead of the occurrence of trouble seen and unseen. If he is the head I am in submission to I need him to be in tip top shape because I follow his lead. The car ain't moving right if the head gasket is blown ! *bars*


'For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age,[a] against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.'

- Ephesians 6:12


To conclude my contribution to this post, as my lovely husband has tag teamed and joined me on this write up, I close with this:

If being a wife is something you truly desire ask yourself if you struggle in any of those areas I mentioned in the tips above.


  • Do you have an attitude and talk recklessly during disagreements? Can you control your mouth and what comes out of it when things don't go your way?

  • Are you able to take instruction?

  • How do you feel about submission?

  • Can you trust the vision and leave decisions in the hands of your partner?

  • Would you try to overthrow those decisions if you didn't fully understand them?

  • Do you PRAY for your partner that your with, or pray for them in advance of even meeting them?


These are some key areas amongst many that are important to consider and work on preferably before getting married. But If you are already married, continue to seek the Lord in prayer to help you in those areas in order to better yourself as a wife.

May the good Lord help us all x


- Introducing Mr.O......


So You Want To Be A Husband?





Marriage is indeed a great blessing like my wife opened with, but isn't for everyone and the scriptures tell us this in Matthew 19:121 Corinthians 7:8-9, advices us to marry instead of burning with passion. But let's not interpret that into thinking it means marry just anyone. It should still be a decision well thought out and lead by God. 

This is a topic I could expand on a great deal, but to keep it succinct and not hijack my wife's blog, these are my three points below for the men considering marriage:


1.) Be in or be willing to work and be a good steward of finances, as one of our purposes as men is to be providers.

The first marriage in Scriptures was between a working man (Genesis 2:15; 19-20a) and a "helping" woman - (let the " " suffice as I am only addressing men).

A man considering marriage must be working or have a desire to work- this is simply obeying the original commandment given to Adam. Yes, the proceeds of his work should then be wisely used to cater for himself and his brethren, thereby having a culture in place to provide for the family he is to have. 

And not just - "I work though", but such as glorifies God. Proverbs 18:9 ... being a true steward of every God-given resource to make wealth. 

If you are not working, not actively searching for a job, and have no intentions to work, what is marriage doing on your mind if I may ask? 

This is a mind issue to the core- idle, folded hands cannot CARRY a family.


But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

-1 Timothy 5:8


2.) Understand your position as a man in providing spiritual covering.

Before the Father entrusted Adam with the responsibility of catering for the garden, there was a relationship in place. Hence, relationship births responsibility (ability to respond).

Now that finance is in place, we can say this princess you are looking to come your way would not be starved nor lose excessive weight dramatically lol, we know that "man shall not live by food" so, with you preparing for marriage financially comes even a deeper duty of being a spiritual covering for your family. 

A man must have a relationship with God and be connected to Him always in order to learn the pattern of spiritual covering.

In the Scriptures, the man received the instructions per the fruits of the garden. The woman was aware of these instructions too (Genesis 3:2-3).

The enemy did not approach the man but the woman - Genesis 3:1.


QUESTION: Where was Adam?

The woman was to be "helping" him- and if she was not, Adam was to cover her by reminding her of her purpose. 

The Father said - it is not good for the man to be alone. In Eve's absence, Adam continued as when he was without Eve, not knowing where she was, what she was up to, how she was fairing, being her "covering", she became susceptible to temptation. She found him after and man's FALL was quicker than when the serpent tempted her. A man must never be disconnected from the Father and must always seek to cover the woman. 


NOTE:

When the Father came down, as was His custom, He asked where are you? Genesis 3:8

Did Adam ask Eve where she had been? No. But should've known where she was and what she was doing as the spiritual covering over her. 


For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.

- Ephesians 5:23

3.) Acknowledge your woman

After the decision to bring a help meet to the man, (in our case, after one commits to marrying and raising a family), the Lord brought the woman to Adam. 

Still in perfect connection to God's presence, obeying by tilling the ground and naming animals, and waking up from deep sleep, Adam was able to recognise and acknowledge Eve as the bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh.

The deep sleep is an era of necessary separation- from entanglements, exes, and excess weight.

The man should wake up ready to leave his father and mother and cleave to the divinely presented princess. 


Staying connected with God will help a man acknowledge HIS woman from the others.




He who finds a wife finds a good thing And obtains favor from the LORD.

- Proverbs 18:22

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